


i can't stop shaking

by orphan_account



Series: i want to forget everything but you [4]
Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Group Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, elmax - Freeform, the party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:07:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25598545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: max has a panic attack
Relationships: Dustin Henderson & Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Eleven | Jane Hopper/Maxine "Max" Mayfield, Maxine "Max" Mayfield & Lucas Sinclair, Maxine "Max" Mayfield & Mike Wheeler, Will Byers & Eleven | Jane Hopper
Series: i want to forget everything but you [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1768462
Comments: 1
Kudos: 64





	i can't stop shaking

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



Max thinks that this will be the way she goes, sitting in the Wheeler basement with her heart beating so fast that she thinks it’ll run right out of her body and her hands shaking to match the rhythm 

“What’s wrong?” Dustin asks and she wants to scream at him that she is just fine , that it’s none of his business, that he shouldn’t be asking and at the same time, she wants to shout everything until her voice stops working, but she can’t speak. 

So, she just shakes and she closes her eyes and she pretends that she is on a beach somewhere far away from here and that her feet are in the sand and her arms are around El’s shoulders and she isn’t suffocating and... 

“Max?” Mike asks, putting a hand on her shoulder. 

“El and Will should be here in a few minutes,” Dustin trails off and looks up the stairs. 

Max wants to bolt, wants to get on her skateboard and ride until the trees are blurring together and she’s lost in the middle of nowhere, but she is frozen, so she clenches her fists until she can feel her nails digging into her palms. 

Her hands are balled up, but they are shaking and they won’t stop, no matter how hard she tries to make them and she is biting her lip so she does not scream and she can taste the blood. 

“It’s ok,” Lucas tells her, “It’s ok to cry.” 

But, it’s not. Because if she starts crying now, she will never stop and she’ll be drowning in this river of tears she was never taught to swim in and she just wants to punch the wall until her knuckles bleed, because sometimes anger is the thing that she feels when she should be feeling sad, but that is... but, that is besides the point. 

The point is that Max is falling apart and it’s not like a cabinet door you can just prop back up and pretend that it’s fixed. The point is that she is breaking and everyone knows this now and she wants to... 

She wants so many things that she cannot have and she wishes that El were here already so that she could just run into her arms and hide from everything else and... 

“Sorry we’re late!” Will calls down the stairs, pulling her out of her thoughts, but her goddamn hands are still shaking. 

“Jonathan overslept because he was up all night with Steve...” El runs downstairs, laughing, but trails off. 

“Max?” she asks and that one word has Max sobbing so hard that she can’t find her way back again and her eyes are squeezed shut and all she can see is fireworks and screaming and tentacles and her not-brother’s body and... 

There are hands grabbing her own and squeezing and she feels something between safe and home that has her opening her eyes and blinking away the tears to find El staring at her like she matters and gripping her hands so that they are not shaking anymore and she thinks that maybe, if she can’t get them to stop by herself... 

“Max,” El says again and Max buries her head in El’s neck as she shakes. The other girl wraps her arms around her and rocks back and forth, whispering words that Max can’t hear, but she doesn’t have to, to know what they are saying.

You are here, you are safe, you are home.   
Then, there are other arms wrapping around her waist and a chin on her shoulder and Dustin is saying, “We’ve got you” and Will puts his forehead on her other shoulder and Lucas is holding her hands and Mike throws his arms around everyone and they are all shaking together. 

And even though she is crying still, she is smiling too and everything is kind of ok.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks so much for reading!! if you enjoyed, check out the series, i want to forget everything but you, please!! and come visit me on tumblr! i'm @eraseyourbookofstories and i'm always down to write prompts/requests or if you just wanna visit, that's cool too :D anyway, comments and kudos give me life!! love you beautiful people


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